big_kid_table

I STILL believe that Linkin Park is the BEST workout music!! Pumps me up so much!! :) 5 miles has never been so goddamn easy! :)

I got on the scale again this morning and it said 131.8...but i was all dehydrated this morning so who knows....WTF...i am SOOO SICK OF THAT NUMBER!!!!!!!! lol ive been seeing that number for the last like....week almost!!! so ridiculous...but i guess its better than 132.6....

the goal is to exercise today and tomorrow....tomorrow is going to be REALLY ROUGH bc i wont be sleeping tonight...then i have clinic...then i have my last final!!!! i am going to be exhausted!!!!! but i have to have to have to work out tomorrow!!! bc chances are i wont be working out Friday after clinic since we are going straight to happy hour! busy busy week!!!!

I think I'll run to school today and back....that's the plan...hopefully I'll find the energy to do that tomorrow too!

alright...back on track people...

Todayyy was a different day lol....I defrosted chicken and salmon last night...but they were still frozen today! so i didn't get to have lean protein for lunch...i had...*gasp* a ham and cheese sandwich! whatever..i didnt think it would hurt! i only had that and a couple of bananas....hopefully the salmon will be defrosted by tonight and i will be able to eat that.....I got on the scale today and it said 131.8.....*sigh*.....

but i looked in the mirror...nekkid lol...and i mean i think i look thinner than a few days ago??? i think i feel and look more toned?? i think?? could be psychological? but i guess i understand why my weight may be either staying still or going up a little bit...think its cuz i took a few days off from working out....muscles may have atrophied a bit causing more weight loss in that sense and not in the good way maybe?? but since i worked out the last couple of days...that could be why my weight is being weird?? who knows..........goal is still 128 by next monday!!!! i hope i dooo ittt.......:-\ whenever my weight stays the same for a little bit...and then i keep working at it and keep doing what im doing...all of a sudden it'll drop outta nowhere! im hoping that'll happen...ill keep weighing myself...and then i hope come monday it just goes wooops all the way down to 128! i'll keep praying lol

as for now i'll keep working out....i gotta try not to be so discouraged with my scale not moving...cuz i do feel different....and im pretty sure i look different? just gotta remember that and not pay too much attention to that scale...*sigh* stupid scale....

i need to get rid of my gut...and my stupid love handles....if anyone knows any good workouts for that...please share!

ok so when I got on the scale the first time..it said 131.8....its been saying that for days now!!!!! i got off...then i got back on again cuz i was like..how the heck can i be 131.8 still?! and then it read...130.8......i did that like 5 more times...and it still said 130.8......sooo....im not sure....but i'll take it lol...who knows what i really am....

but since Dec 5th....I have lost about.....3 poundsish....my goal is to keep up with this diet.....and to lose 2 pounds per week doing so.....i think i can do it! i really think i can!!!!

If I could get down to about 126 by the xmas party...I will think i have done an okay job....Granted...everyone at the party will be at least 10 pounds lighter than me....but whatever.....I'll deal with it.....I will never be as skinny as everyone in my family....By the end of these 20 days...I will only have 10 more pounds to go.......It's going to be REALLY hard to do over the holidays...since i have been going so hardcore...I expect to gain back a couple of pounds over xmas and new year's with all the celebrating and the drinking...

As long as I make myself bounce back.......

I want to be under 125 for our 3rd year party that we're having on January 7th or 8th...it's going to be hard but I totally think it's doable!!! alright....time to cram...blehhh

started off my day with a 3.5 mile run...now...off to studying at barnes and nobles like...alllll dayyy long...............

yesterday i tripped up again and had a small bag of doritos...dude..ive been doing so well...i cant even feel bad about a measly bag of doritos lol....i see myself slowly slipping lol....but i still believe i am doing very very well! i mean this is a really really hard diet to follow for 20 whole days!

today...NO CHEATING :)

which is going to be hard cuz im gonna be up ALL NIGHT studying......blehh.........

I realize now that eating healthy is never enough...you have to work out too! I am STILL 131.8! wtf lol....I am going to do tae bo later tonight....just so all of this dieting is not in vain!!!!!!!

Didnt get to post yesterday...I feel like watching my sister's dog while going on this diet during a crazy week of finals has been way too much stress on my body..oh PLUS the fact I am majorly PMSING!!! I don't really trust what the scale says cuz I am majorly bloated...I have been pretty much following my diet (except for a couple of cheats yesterday...i had eggs in my salad...which im not sure but PRETTY sure that is not the "lean protein" landon had in mind..also I have not been working out....which I know is bad :-\ I have just been really tired and busy...and the dog was driving me out of my mind!!!!! i will post about that dog another time...but dont really feel like talking about it cuz i was just on the phone with my mom for like 30 minutes bitching about that dog lol...

anyway...so yeah yesterday i was sorta bad...oh yeah i also cheated cuz the dog was really frustrating me...and i was so mad and emotional i thought..i am going to have this small bag of bbq chips..fuck it...ive been doing good..lol...it was 150 calories...i know i shouldnt have done it...but whatever...sue me lol...im going to be 150 calories heavier at the xmas party..if they notice that...then they're crazy and i shouldnt give a shit what they think lol

i got on the scale yesterday....it said 133 with clothes on after dinner and i was majorly bloated...I really wanted to be down to 130 by tomorrow...(which I thought was doable since I had lost like 2 pounds in the first 4 days...probably just water weight but whatever)...this week is going to be rough again with finals...but i know now that it really doesnt have to be hard...the only reason why finals is hard is because i don't study ahead of time...so if i for once start to study ahead of time...i won't have to lose so much sleep and be miserable about dieting AND not getting sleep....

i put on a really form fitting green shirt/dress with black tights yesterday for clinic...everything was very form fitting....i felt KINDA fat...but i definitely felt skinnier than over a week ago! i definitely still have some weight to lose...but I totally think I can do it in 2 weeks! I definitely do! if I keep this up...and add in exercise...Ill be golden! the only big problem that I foresee..is I'm going up to see my sister this upcoming weekend...we're going snowboarding! yes I know...it's active and I'll be working out! but I get sooo hungry snowboarding!! so it's going to be REALLY hard to do! but I'm gonna try to stick to the diet that day...

oh and another thing is...next friday my clinic group wants to go out to happy hour to celebrate our last day of clinic as a group....that means i'll probably be drinking and probably craving bad things lol...and then i'll be snowboarding the next day and wanting bad things....plus my brother in law is probably going to want to drink the night after snowboarding....i'll have to tell him i'm not up for it and that we'll drink on xmas...cuz i'll be done this stupid challenge!!!!!!!! yayyy!!!

i am feeling really good...:) i haven't been working out the way that i should but i still feel good...the one day i went to the gym...i ran a lap..realized..shit..im getting my period..and had to go home! LOL! that was bad! so i did tae bo at home instead...i hope that makes up for the 2 miles i was supposed to run!

I am determined to burn 300-400 calories every day this week....either by doing tae bo...or running and then doing tae bo...i am determined! and then after finals...the week after will be the last week b4 the xmas party...that week i will run 5 miles! that is my game plan....and i am determined tos tick to it!! :)

hope everyone else is doing well!!! can't wait to hear about all the changes your body is going through!! :)

It seriously has felt like it's been FOREVER! Probably because I slept 30 minutes on Monday night and then like 3 hours last night...Finals are KILLING ME!!!!!!! And yesterday I had some major issues thinking about snacks! we went to wawa...and i just wanted EVERYTHING lol....man!! this is MUCH harder than I was expecting!! but I'm sure that 36 hour days doesn't help....I can't wait to get back into regular sleeping this weekend..only to go back to not sleepin again next week for 2 finals....but after that...Last FINALS EVER!!!!!!!!! Of course I'll have to study for boards...and take stupid classes here and there in January...but I am SO EXCITED to be done with classes!!! Very scared for boards..but I guesss I'll worry about that when the time comes!

But anyway not much to update about..I have been sticking strictly to this diet...the one day I cheated and ate Dannon's apple pie flavored light and fit yogurt...that was the worst cheat that i've done...i've had like small bites of lee's sandwiches here and there too...but for the most part...i have been sticking to the plan!

It's already getting harder...can't believe I have to do this for 20 days straight! ITS SOO HARD!!!!!!!!! i am craving carbs soooo bad!!!! i am particularly ms. carbohydrate too....i have ALWAYS been a pasta girl! and bread...i mean i could live off of bread and butter every day!!!!

i shouldnt talk about it...im gonna start craving it even more...

im at work right now and i forgot that i had it today..i barely ate my salad for lunch so i am really hungry...and tired....and now i'm feeling extremely grumpy!!! can't wait to EAT!!!

i am actually interested in weighing myself when i get home...eating some food...and then passing out!!

let u know how it goes :)

Both days actually went very well!!! I stuck to my plan..although i had so many other cravings....the only problem that I had was I didn't go running because I was too busy cramming for a REALLY big exam I was panicking about..I think I did okay! which is great news since it was probably he hardest exam this year :) tonight will be more cramming unfortunately.....i am going to try to make up for not exercising the past 2 days though...im going to run 4 instead of the 2 that he told me to run every day...and I'll try to do the same tomorrow...although i probably will not be sleeping tonight bc i have another really big final tomorrow!!

For lunch I think I may go buy some salmon at the supermarket....need to look up some good salmon recipes...if you know of any good healthy salmon rubs or recipes please let me know! :) the only thing with this diet is...I would probably eat salmon with tartar sauce...and tartar sauce is definitely not healthy diet sauce...so i will have to look for something else....i've had salmon with mango salsa before...i will have to look for mango salsa at the supermarket too! or make it myself...i just found some easy recipes for mango salsa! that will have to count towards my servings of fruit for the day...

i guess another good thing that will come out of this 20 day challenge is that i will have to come up with new fish recipes....granted...the fish/chicken that i am eating is supposed to be pretty bland...so i cant make anything real fancy with too many ingredients....but this will be my chance to experiment with new chicken rubs or new spices for fish...or just new ways of preparing and cooking fish in general!! i am excited! :)

i think i will learn to broil fish today........

Yesterday was REALLY hard for me...and I don't know why!! I didn't drink or anything this past week...but I was CRAVING greasy food like all day yesterday!!! It was really bad! Even though I did VERY WELL considering all the cravings I had...and it snowed....and I had a lot of studying to do....I am extremely proud of myself for the way I pushed through it and didn't give into my late night cravings!

In the morning I had these 2 leftover mini tacos...Im guessing 200 calories...then for lunch I had IHOP for Me....its 2 pancakes, 2 egg beaters, and 2 turkey sausage with no sugar added syrup for 400 calories! then I ran 3 miles by myself....and 2 miles with lee afterwards....indoor on that stupid track...then for dinner...I wanted a chicken cheesesteak sooo bad.....SOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!! I was sooo close to ordering it!! I shoulda just done it...but I knew...i just KNEW i would blow my diet for the day if I got it...bc it wouldnt just end there...i woulda been like "well i already had something bad for me...may as well go all out!" so instead i got baked tilapia...only ate some of it...200 calories im thinking...part of a baked potato 200 calories...and then a small slice of cheesecake....so last night I didn't think that cheesecake was much....but now that i've looked up calories in other cheesecakes...I'm really scared that it was about 500 calories....it was a small slice...but the cheesecake from olive garden is 800 calories....I don't this one was THAT much less................DAMMIT! i thought I did okay yesterday! little did I know that effing cheesecake screwed me up...and u know what...after that cheesecake....I WAS STILL STARVING! so hungry...we went to genuardi's...and got one of those frozen pizza and lee and i were going to split it and watch a movie! after we bought it and rented our movie...i told him i didnt want to eat it..lol...guess i got past my craving....so he goes well Im getting burger king then...which was SOO HARD FOR ME! and he got those little cheeseburger shots....cuz hwne we got there I went "oooo i just want a litle burrger shot (but it comes in 6)" so I think he got them expecting me to eat them....even though I told him not to do it for me....and I didn't touch them at all! So proud of myself and my self control! I know I'll have more days like yesterday...but I am still proud of myself....

except for that damn cheesecake! I didnt think it was much at the time!

That means i'm already 300 calories up on today since I've been trying to do 1200 calories per day.....*sigh*.....Whatever....at the time..I didnt think that cheesecake was that bad....which is why I did it...so Im proud of myself for resisting all of my bad temptations....and thinking i was going with a not too bad dessert...not that i was thinking cheesecake isnt bad for you...but it was such a small piece.....and i really didnt think it would hurt me...but apparently just a little bit is enough to fuck everything up! *sigh*

and this next week...making sure I exercise is going to be SOO HARD!! I have 2 finals....which means practically no sleep this week....which when I'm sleepy...its REALLY HARD to find it in me to exercise....*sigh* well...I just gotta do it....gotta gotta push through....that was a really really hard Day 3....haha...but I am ready for Day 4....

It's amazing the difference I feel after doing well for only 3 days....the scale still says I am 132.8....it's been consistently saying that...(which makes me hope its not broken) no matter what time of day it is! so I think I am probably around that....which means......if I keep doing what I'm doing....(god it's so hard though!!) and don't slip up at all (which won't happen realistically)....and really really stick with it......I could potentially be down to 126.8...if i do 2 pounds per week....which i will not expect to happen....but I DO want to get down to 128 or so....if possible....I think that is my REACH goal....then my actual realistic goal is more like...under 130......alright....I will get there.....one day at a time...*sigh* let's start Day 4...