big_kid_table

scariest vampire ever.



halloween was so fun this year. :) first fun halloween since high school!

Weekends are better now than they've pretty much ever been. This weekend was great! Friday night was dinner with a bunch of people (the boyfriend, mallory, bill, chrissy, rich, marcella, and her brother rob), and then Bill and Chrissy and Mallory and Mike and I went back to Bill and Chrissy's for games and fun. It was so simple but SO HILARIOUS. I haven't laughed that hard in my life! We played Zombie Flux and Apples to Apples and I was just SO happy being around people I love.

Then Saturday I got to have lunch with my parent, my boyfriend, and my wonderful and lovely GOSIA! Also known as Marge, my beautiful Polish bff who lived with me for like 6 months a few years ago, who we all love, and who is back in Philly and doing amazing. It was so great to catch up and see her!

Then after that the boy and I carved pumpkins (they turned out so cute!) and got ready for our first halloween party of the year. It was at Bill and Chrissy's and it was so fun! I was a vampire, boo was a penguine. And Ashley and Alyssa and even CHIEF came! We love chief and haven't seen him in a long time so that was great. And Matty boy of course, our best friend who defends me against faggy hardcore kids and always has our back. We drank and had an awesome night and yay.

And on Sunday Mike and I just hung out with Bill and Chrissy and Matt all day which was also awesome. I love my friends!! And Pops of course who is the man.

I can't believe Bill is leaving for basic in a week! It's gonna be so crazy without him! And then in like February he's coming back and stealing Chrissy away to go for career training in Virginia... boooo I'm gonna miss them both SO MUCH. We've gotten so close over the past year, and they are the reason I'm in the best relationship of my life. It's going to be crazy not to see them!

so life is good. here's some october.


my birthday dinner
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life gets better every day. i'm kind of laughing at how utterly depressed and sick of things i was this time last year. haha. ah well.

people are creepy sometimes, by the way.

taken from my facebook:


today my boyfriend came shopping with my family, held not only my bags but my mom's as well, bought me sneakers just because he felt like it, held and amused my nine month old niece, and never complained or even appeared at all impatient or annoyed when i tried clothes on and asked his opinions on shoes and dresses. why am i so lucky?





yeah, that's what we did yesterday. outlet shopping with my family. and he was amazing.

So my ex-boyfriend has hacked into my email, twice, and denied it. I know it was him, he did it while we were going out and he's done it to his other exes. He keeps denying it, but it's not even worth the headache.

In other news, my current relationship is amazing. He moved a few weeks ago, into a house he rents with a couple of friend. It's been really fun. I love his roommates, I love the house, I love everything about the situation. We've been having a lot of fun lately.

I'm in an amazing place right now. I'm so happy with my life, with myself, with the people I surround myself with. It's just so good to finally be myself, to not be stifled or held back. I can do and say and be whatever I want, and it feels good.

a body i'm happy with

a person i'm happy with

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My life has been amazing lately. Vacation, trips, adventures, parties, and just a lot of good people.

I'm really happy. I've found direction. I'm healthier. I'm more in shape. I smile more. I wear dresses everywhere. I am in school. I have a lot to look forward to. I even have a new place to lay my head.



Life's good.


But I would like to be able to be friends with some people from my past...

I have so much to talk about but I really don't have the time.

So let's just be vulgar for a second. My boyfriend is incredible in every way, but I'm really having THE BEST SEX ever. And a lot of it. Seriously, like two or three times a day. And it's always amazing. So, there's that.

i had the best vacation i've had in a loooong time this week. more on that later. i'm just really, really happy in a way i wasn't sure i could ever be.

he IMs me while riding the bus:

boyfriend (10:01:25 PM): This guy got yelled at for looking at another girl
lizwhiz86 (10:08:19 PM): lolololol dont you hate it when your girlfriend yells at you for that?
boyfriend (10:09:00 PM): She yells at me when i don't look
lizwhiz86 (10:09:31 PM): lol "did you see that ass? NO?! omg how could you miss it?!"
boyfriend (10:09:57 PM): That's how it goes lol



also, this is from this morning:

(8:20:50 AM): You are the most beautiful girl in the world and can't wait to see you today



awwwww

So the other night, as mentioned, the boyfriend and I went to a party. It was at his friend's house, and I'd only met like two or three of the people there before that night. But I wound up having a really great time and fitting in really well. I love his friends. They are so much like him in that they are all super friendly, laid back, fun loving people. It's always nice to be around people like that. The place was in Leedom and we were there all night, drinking and BBQing and playing pool and relaxing. At about 5 in the morning when the sun started coming up we walked home. Haha. It was a pretty long walk but not bad. It was actually kind of nice to be in the quiet before the world wakes up, watching the sunrise with the boy I love.

I really can't believe how well things are going with this kid. It's not what I expected at all. It's so much better than anything I've ever felt before. I feel so comfortable, so loved, so myself. There is nothing painful or dramatic or shitty about it. It's just easy love. And he's so damn easy TO love!

In other news, I love my best friends and I love my family. I just love summer, it makes everyone happy and relaxed and there are so many fun things going on.

I'm writing a lot again. Nothing worth mentioning, it's just nice to be creative and expressive again.

just keeps getting better. Me and the boy are always having silly little random adventures. Yesterday was super fun cause we saw our Dougy Doug and last night we went to a great party with a few great people. Buttttt not gonna go into detail.

Just wanted to quickly say that my life is amazing and I love Michael Lee Panco!

sometimes a loss is really a gain.

i'm so glad i only have good people in my life anymore.

Today was even better than predicted! Did all the fun things planned (farmers market, flea market, shopping in the city). Instead of China Town we went to the Capital Grill. It was amazingggg. Pricey but so worth it!

Then I got home and my sister and her husband were over with the baby! She's getting so big. Six months old and such a cute little porker! So I got to visit with them for a while which was great. After that Mallory asked if I wanted to go back into the city to go see some fireworks. So I went right back out with Mallory, Doug, and of course the boy and we went into the city, watched the fireworks, then wandered around and got frozen yogurt and enjoyed the city. Then I came home and watched Ninja Warrior with my mom.

It's about time for bed now. Tomorrow's agenda includes going to my sister's (seeing the baby two days in a row! yay!) and then seeing the boy.

Being unemployed sucks, but I am getting money for nothing and my days have been packed with super fun things.

I am loving this summer.

I've actually been having probably the best summer ever. Lots of time with friends, family, and the boy.

I spent yesterday, for example, laying out at Mallory's and drinking cocktails, then jumping on the trampoline/playing with the hose in our bikinis. Boyfriend was there and certainly enjoyed that. Haha. Then we got dinner, hung out, drank more, watched movies, played games, and just had a great evening. It was laid back but it was awesome. The night before that was a bonfire on a shitty beach with a bunch of awesome people. It feels like every day and every night is fun lately.

And every day I've been waking up with a boy who drives me crazy and who loves me like no other. So, that's pretty damn good.

Today's agenda: farmer's market, flea market, shopping in the city, then china town for delicious food.

Also have camping trips, a week at the beach, and lots more fun coming up. I am just absolutely loving life. This is what summer should be!

got laid off (at least i get unemployment)
cut my finger had to go to the ER and it looks weird now
have the flu

quick update! woot.

i love my life and especially my boyfriend. <3 xoxo

I got hit on twice in Wawa today. I realize, I get hit on kind of a lot. I don't think I've been without at least one or two people romantically interested in me since I was about 15. I don't think this is because I'm all that attractive. There are three main reasons why I am pretty popular with the male and/or lesbian population:

1. I have a vagina
2. I've got boobs that are way big for my size
3. I'm very, very approachable.

I think the last one is most important as far as people being interested in me. I'm just so the opposite of an intimidating person. I make people in general feel comfortable, I think. I really want everyone around me to be happy and especially happy with me, so I have created a persona that is really warm and easy going.

Children and the elderly love me like you wouldn't believe.

So, in short, I think... and I feel like an asshole for saying this cause it's kinda vain... but I think in general, people like me. And that's why I get hit on a lot. I appear to be in everyone's league, and I'm easy to talk to.

My life is pretty interesting lately. On Saturday Mallory and I went downtown for lunch and shopping, and we talked about a lot of things. It's interesting to see how far our lives have come together and as individuals. Outside of my family, she's the person that's been a real part of my life for the longest time. We've known each other for about 12 years, and we've been insanely close for pretty much the entire time. So we've been there through all the biggest transitions in life so far... from childhood into adolescence, then some form of semi-adulthood. It's interesting to have someone go through all of those things with you, and then be able to reflect on it together the way we can. See, we've always had an incredibly open friendship, too. We shared and did a lot more together as young kids than I think most do. We were both kind of weird, intense, odd kids. So we talked about a lot of things other kids probably didn't think much about, and we discovered a lot about ourselves and each other together.

Discussing philosophy, sexuality, and all the weirdest things that kids think about was really common. I guess it helped me realize that my crazy thoughts weren't all that crazy, and I was able to learn a lot more about myself and about the world. There was no part of myself I was afraid of, because there was someone else just as weird and fucked up and confused as me to talk about it with.

Anyway, that's kind of a weird tangent.

My life is good lately, it's different than it's been in a long time. I feel a little restless at the moment, just feeling like I'm on the brink of something... I don't know, it's hard to describe.

In general, I'm really happy. The people I'm around are really bringing my energy up. It's a good feeling.

More later, I lost the urge to write.